If you have been through numerous relationships or several jobs, and you complain about always getting stuck with the same type of partner or same type of boss, and no one is asking you to observe your pattern, it is time to rethink your life. If no one is challenging you to see your role in creating the events of your life and how your behavior is being reflected back to you in your most intimate relationships, then whatever you are doing is not working. If you are not willing to recognize that your choices create your life, then it is time to ask yourself what are you waiting for? No matter what the reason, you are paying a heavy price to hide and not live fully.

One of the most profound things I realized in managing large groups of people to create complex projects was that sooner or later, good people, intelligent, hard working well-meaning people often sabotage their lives because they cannot see themselves clearly… we do not recognize that our choices create our lives. Once we realize that we create it all: the good, the bad and the ugly, and that there are no victims, no fickle finger of fate or angry punishing god, we can consciously choose what serves us most. So I learned some simple yet profound tools to help people take back their power, to live more fully, lead more wisely and learn to love themselves and others unconditionally.

Carla L Picardi

Research into the neuroscience of leadership has provided a huge body of information regarding the success of Coaching. Coaching provides tools and techniques to develop individual leadership behavior skills, enhance the ability of an individual to bring about effective behavioral change in their own life, and in others for whom he or she is responsible, and for driving behavioral change in an organization. Coaching helps shape dominant pathways in the brain through solution and goals focused questioning. This approach better facilitates self-insight with the objective of developing a unique set of leadership skills in each individual.
Coaching hinges on trust: the trust that the coach has in the client that there is a deep and passionate desire to learn to be different and to change, and the trust that the client has in the coach that the coach will hold the confidentiality. It is the essential element that permits clients to open up and share their most intimate thoughts without being judged. This trust permits the creation of a sacred space, a safe place where clients can be courageous and go deeply into the issues which block them from living fulfilling, balanced and fully present lives.

Coaching offers tools, which inspire the client to create change. The agenda for each session comes from the client. The client decides what is important to discuss and through the coach asking powerful questions, many important issues are revealed:

• What are you struggling with?
• What about this is uncomfortable for you now?
• What is it to be stuck?
• If this were your greatest teacher, what are you learning about yourself?
• On a scale of 1-10, what is your level of satisfaction with this?

Listening is a huge part of Coaching. Listening is one of the richest skills all human beings can develop. It enhances every relationship in every part of our life. Our colleagues, friends, spouses and children always know if we are really present or not. People reveal their values by what they are saying and what they are not saying; by where they are casting blame and what they are requesting behind that blame; through their sarcasm and laughter; with their body language and their enthusiasm; and in everything that is being observed and intuited by the coach. When clients share their dreams and desires, they are revealing their deepest values. In Coaching, the coach is not only listening fully and deeply to all of this, the coach is teaching the client how to truly listen by example.

Coaching is about creating a safe and courageous space in which calling the client forth is possible. It is only possible if the coach can hold the client creative, resourceful and whole, and if the client knows how passionately the coach believes in his magnificence. The coach must be fiercely courageous and confident to go to that uncomfortable place and to stay there while the client is doing the work necessary to move beyond their situations. If the coach is not truly authentic or uncomfortable at all with this type of work, it will not be possible for the coach to self manage. In fact, if the coach has not done her own transformational work, she may not even realize that she are avoiding going deeper with the client and an opportunity to deepen the learning and help the client transform the situation will be lost.

The coach must be willing to take risks. The coach must be willing to risk offending the client and being fired by the client. The coach must be fiercely courageous and “willing to lose you for your sake” by saying just the thing the client does not want to hear and be willing to hold the mirror up to reflect the very flaw the client does not want to see. That revelation is the key to unlocking the wisdom the client is desperately seeking and avoiding at the same time. This is where the real transformational work takes place in Coaching.

The results of successful coaching show up from the bedroom to the boardroom

Carla L Picardi

Carla L Picardi is available for corporate and individual coaching.  She is also available for Leadership workshops and seminars.